What Setbacks and Disappointment Taught Me
By Chih-Ta Chen
Translated by Eric Tsai
The definition of what it means to “lose” is a tricky one to nail down. Some musicians consider any result other than the top prize or highest achievement to be a loss; for others, there is no “losing” as long as the process is meaningful and useful to one’s development. However, we can probably all agree that no matter how one defines winning and losing, one’s journey down the road of studying music will inevitably be littered with obstacles of various kinds, and not just during those early formative years. In this short article, I would like to share some of my reflections and thoughts about this fascinating and complicated topic.
My teacher Hsin-Yun Huang used to say to me, “You are only as good as you are.” A great player would not be any worse if he or she was eliminated in the competition, and similarly, an immature player would not somehow be better simply because a few jury members gave them favorable results. Of course, how one views himself or herself (based on previous achievements or lack thereof) can influence one’s playing greatly, but that is beside the point; I am simply stating that the results of a competition or audition do not somehow magically enhance or detract from one’s overall level of playing. Former world-ranked No. 1 badminton player Chong Wei Lee captured dozens of gold medals over the course of his 19-year career, yet he never managed to win even one gold medal at the all-important Olympic games. If one were to judge Lee’s success based on his performance at the Olympics, one would come to a conclusion that made him out to be far less than he really was. (Lee held the top spot worldwide in badminton men’s singles for 349 weeks, the longest streak in the history of badminton.) Inversely, if Lee had decided to quit playing because of sub-par performance at a few competitions, he may not have been able to keep his place at the top for so long. Even for the best of players, it is the very “losses” that are so painful to go through that ultimately build strength, courage, and determination to go on.
As a violist, I have never been considered particularly accomplished technique-wise; throughout the course of the many small and large competitions I entered prior to college, not one was considered a “success.” On the other hand, I had no lack of successful friends who consistently won awards left and right around me. From an outsider’s point of view, one might say, “Poor Chih-Ta, he works so hard and yet never gets the results he hopes for.” But from my own perspective, I know that these “losses” have not entirely been wasted. Even during those times when I would practice seven hours a day and sleep for only four in pursuit of a particular goal, only to find my dreams dashed once again, I see now that the process of preparation taught me more than I would have ever learned otherwise. Every loss brings with it a special gift, evident only to those who will look out for it.
In each contest, there will only be one in first place. Therefore, before we learn how to succeed, we must first learn what it means to welcome “loss.” Sometimes, it is only the fear of what people will say or think that keeps us from going on. What will he say if I drop out of school to apply for Curtis and then get rejected? What will she think if I enter this competition for the 4th time after losing three years in a row? But as we slowly climb to new heights, we will discover that those opinions that we previously thought so much of and feared so greatly were actually only empty words to be cast aside. Only by looking ahead and humbly examining ourselves can we turn all negativity into the strength to succeed.
Even though I am still not a “successful” violist, nor am I sharing my “101 Secrets to Success,” I hope that my story of perseverance amidst countless disappointments and “loss” may perhaps encourage some to similarly pick themselves up and face the future with courage once again.
About Chih-Ta Chen
Chih-Ta Chen, from Kaohsiung, Taiwan, is currently studying viola with Roberto Diaz and Hsin-Yun Huang at the Curtis Institute of Music, where he holds the Jean J. Sterne Fellowship.
Chen was a winner of the Borromeo String Quartet Guest Artist Award in 2018, leading to a performance with the quartet at New England Conservatory’s Jordan Hall. Additionally, he and his string quartet, the Nico Quartet, were selected as a New England Conservatory Honors Ensemble in 2018-19. Previously, Chen has been invited to the Kneisel Hall Chamber Music festival, Four Seasons Chamber Music Festival, and the Taos Chamber Music Festival.
Before coming to Curtis, Chen attended the New England Conservatory and Tainan National University of the Arts. He previously studied with Mai Motobuchi, Yong-Zhan Chen, and I-Chen Wang.